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There's an to giving constructive criticism, so that it's not taken defensively. If you're delivering that criticism exactly as you described, that's not a bad way to do it . however, if you're doing this a LOT, then it surely make her feel like you don't value the way she does things (. you don't value HER), you're trying to 'control' her, and you're judging her. From the two examples you gave, it does sound like you be trying too hard to get her to do things *your* way. This is a very tough time for a mother, extremely frazzling and exhausting. That's SURE to cause forgetfulness and distraction. I wonder if your tendency to parent her is the root of the problem and she's likely picking up on your feeling of dealing with instead of two she's undervalued and treated like a. Instead of constructive criticism, more likely she needs support and validation from you. She's a grown woman and mother, likely she knows how to clean a kitchen and that putting things away while it's already in her hands is easier than cleaning it up later. She doesn't need you to tell her how to do it more 'efficiently' (is it just me, or does that word send hackles up for anyone, too???) I have a suggestion Instead of telling her how to better manage things, have you ever tried ASKING her what you can do to help? So instead of saying, "You know if you store every item just after use, you could save some time and mess," you could try a different approach: "-, you seem frustrated, is there anything I can do to help?" Might help if you could tell us what SHE says to you in these arguments. What are her words, exactly? Lonely older woman seeking sex encounters adult friend find
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